Ganya you know sensex is acting like a newly wed bride

Few days back I found myself in my hometown…Found myself…I don’t mean that I am some sort of alien with tentacles, tiny weeny head which weigh less than hhhmmm and more of above with some super natural power…with some super natural power…If I have got an option then 3rd one is going to be an obvious choice…After few days of negotiation, I would have settled on first one…but tiny weeny head with size as small as hmmmmmm…no ways….I just meant that it was a small visit to folks in my home town…n it has changed.. Changed a hell lot…And this is where boredom strikes… You know you meet people you used to know…And suddenly within five minutes , everything fall apart and known people became unknown to you…Forget about distant relatives…but you get such a feelings for cousins too…They will talk about everything we used to do and suddenly they will hit you at softer areas…. And I am not talking literally softer… You meet neighbors…Are they really happy…I still got those creepy marks…And then you travel places, places where you and best buddy used to travel…used to play…The panic, the noise…the ground…bandanas..cowboys..sholay..bacchan…madhuri..stealing...chamiya dance…. and from blood you move towards heart…n you found him…n I think that is what I meant by word found myself…I found myself…in best buddy of mine…i owe him apology……an apology…for not what we used to..and with ashamed face and heavy heart, I knocked on his door…he was same…I was confused...he got a kid too…I still dream…he got rough beard…yuck I look so weird…he got wet eyes…I am stoned…I said hi…n why I said hi…he just smiled and whistled… His house has changed a bit…Mayapuri photos got dustbin and divine frames got adulation…I was in calvin klein…perfume that smell like heaven…he was still genuine…everything as per his wish…n I said let’s move…move to an old place…a baniyan tree…where we used to study…We had a long chat..on entire journey…He got a lot of memories…I was talking about science, greek, 2008 turmoil, India, Modi, rich dad poor dad..n he was smiling…one thing was sure…when it comes to gossip or social talk..i am as good as Pakistani cricketers in post-match interview…. Saala being extrovert or excellent oratorical skills are either within you or not…No one can borrow or steal them… Now I can see trees, birds, bees…a silence…I want to talk to him with childish curiosity…But I cant…it was not lack of topics..It is because he doesn’t know what lures me…n I have got same feeling…And then I have asked about financial situation... I said Ganya you know sensex is acting like newlywed bride..very happy, full of energy, attractive, high on excitement…He was befuddled…he again smiled… n he said.. look at me….For me today is everything…tomorrow is mystery..and when it comes to sensex…I know it is without..NSE…n he winked……

Monsoon Blues: expectation vs. reality

Monsoon is awesome..Especially mountain peaks with dark green shade...they look like well maintained lady with green chiffon sari...nevertheless..I think I love trekking in monsoon.....People who knows me must be thinking that....b*****d got new whim...lad is like movie stroked teenager who change his looks with movie that rocked on box office ...but guys...seriously...I love to trek in monsoon...though I love galz too...but I think let’s stick to treks only...they are easier to conquer...


Last week was monsoon lovers paradise....first time in two months...we have seen rain on weekends... otherwise God of monsoon was working on corporate calendar and he was acting like low rated employee.... sorry dude, you will get this much of rain only...and no rain on weekend, I have got some personal work….oops wtf..where this blog is heading…I suppose to write about lad dressed in perfect formal on heavy monsoon day….so dhan te nan…let me introduce a character in perfect formals holding an umbrella and waiting for auto near station…his endeavor points out to only one fact that he is prey of gap between expectation and reality..So you must be wondering on heavy monsoon day what would be his expectation….

Expectation #1: News of mayhem due to heavy rain on TV channel

It was cool breeze..Alarm broke his hug with pillow..Though alarm was trying from past one hour…( alarm must be thinking to kill a guy who invented snooze option)..Nevertheless..he wakes up with a eternal dream of rainy day…he throws pillow to the corner of bed like playboy in his prime….he switched on TV with the assumption that it is yet another 26th July….

Reality: It was Star…switch to Zee…then Aaj Tak…NDTV…India TV…another bite of the dust…they wer talking about zodiacs…rape, accident and murder case in northern region.. 15 mins he was like…ahmmm…I think I am feeling feverish…and then suddenly he is out of laggard’s energy…and he was ready for his 9-6 may be 7 or 8 show…

Expectation#2: Share auto with hot chick

With perpetual disappointment, he took his body out his place…n he was outside..on the road..road..yeah..i suppose road..Though everyone is playing a game..SPOT THE ROAD contest and I said SPOT THE ROAD contest…and here he is…on auto stand…with his teenager imagination…he will be with dadaji and hot chick…And when journey will end…she will be fighting for her umbrella to open and there comes he with his SRK charm…offer a place in his umbrella and it was like….OMG moment…

Reality: He was out of his apartment…a group of teenagers, wearing EPL knickers and shattered T-shirt with football whose life is about to get screwed, moving to regular field where he used to play…It was like nail on coffin…and he reached nearby auto..Only one sit..in auto full of same old people..they were talking about petrol prices….and inflation…

Expectation#3: Obviously no train

What if Mumbai is still running or there is no hot chick in auto…There is still ray of hope… No trains today…Andheri,Dadar,Churni road..We have seen tracks fully drenched and covered by water…So western railway happily announce that there won’t be any train for 3-4 hours time..with this news..he was planning to call all his friend to chinnu’s canteen…first we will eat some bhajiyas and kadak chai..then a long stroll on road..(oops I supposed to buy plastic cover for cell phone)..then a small trek on nearby mountain peak…bravo dude…what a plan…

Reality: Platform no ek pe aanewali local…churchgate k liye tej local he…All he can see is…crowd…fighting for place to sit…a gal completely drenched and in whites (icing on cake kind of situation)…Bold pervert watching directly at her…tamed pervert who was watching indicator and then rolls his eyes on her, hoping that she will smile back to him…And he found place to stand …n journey begins..

Last Expectation: SMS from senior and then walk on sea shore

I can imagine how he must be feeling..but its human and hope is part of their life…Now when he about to reach place…he is expecting a SMS from organization..which will talk about their inadequate worry and announcement of day off…And then he will visit worli sea face to watch those waves and their occasional efforts..i think they are in love with apartment next to beach…or they want to take revenge…God knows..but they are huge and tempting…he must be feeling like..stay with them forever and ever..

Reality: God of monsoon left the ground without podium finish..water is about to leave road..auto engine are working fine…umbrella is packed and happily residing in bags….like always…everything is normal and it is 15 passed 9…so he has to rush…

Bye C ya..even i have reached my office…I don’t know where he went..but my mailbox is poking me…and haughtily saying that dude..you are at my service…Bye Bye

Few lines for him ( my poetry is like a toddler’s effort…So just bear with it…)

I was walking on the potholed road
It was raining with voices from toad
Drenched bird on the pole
Lecher without any mole
And I was without my casuals
Holding umbrella with fictitious visuals
I wish that, I could have got a clone
I’ll be enjoying, and he will walk alone
I wish that, I could have got a clone
I’ll be enjoying, and he will walk alone……


Please note … it’s a fiction….so just enjoy..Don’t take it seriously….n your criticism is welcomed…ciao

T20 or Test cricket : in ranjit ki jubaani ....

Seriously human never change their skins…they remain wat they are….now u must b thinkin..dat this guy is high on marijuana… but its not a case…I m non smoker , non drinker n vegetarian ( please take a note that m still single…)…Now seriously..they do not change….there is genesis for such comments..Allegations..or whatever…
It all began wen I visited place of ma dear friend SAD on weekend…weekend for taciturn guys is always unplanned…wen u bored of digital world..u start searchin for options…n u land up with some school friend who was yor desk partner..so i called up SAD n asked him with some clause to meet me at regular place …precisely speaking with only one clause..DO NOT TALK ON MY MARRIAGE PLAN…he always start with that n end up on same…..n insist me to come down his place rather than our regular place…but u c….i cn control SAD but not his wife…waise, nobody cn control their wife…(please note…statement that I am makin is based on jokes/comments ,which I have read..got no experience of such ruthless ( adjective is used just to impress few ladies)…ruthless comment)…
So it was perfect plan…we thought its better to check some hotel rather than bademiyas..I never understood y…that small place got such a hype…so I thought we will hit DD…n will devour some spicy chicken…n during our journey of 100m..we realised that we were major jerks to turn our back on bade miyas n go to DD…
we order baida roti n chicken…n park ourselves on nice orphan car…n we were chattin abt few friends n concentrated our discussion on most famous n highly chatted topic…cricket…n we were amazed by downfall of west indian cricket…”dude we were that close to conquer barbadose..n it was Mr sharma…lanky uncertain fast bowler”….we were talkin abt downfalll of windies cricket…n speculating on money I other sports…n nw it is cos of T20…saaala people hve lost patience….i think windies have distributed qualities of test cricket to different individuals….n everyone has chosen attack n nominated Mr chanderpaul to hold patience department….We were talkin like commentator of some low cost radio station…..N suddelny we found that orphan car found its owner….a guy in tight jean n half sleeves shirt with three opened button…surrounded by girls, looking more like a prostitutes than big town chicks…n he uttered a famous dialogue…ONCE IN BLUE MOON…n we were like, OMG….he was famous villan of bollywood….ranjit…Oh boy I shud hve guessed it…but u c….it was dark outside..( god help me…wen will I stop throwing childish reasons)…n we came to knw that he is test cricket fan….
So aftaa some stupid teenager type reactions ( oh F***..we were fan of yours..u stilll rocks….love your movies…speciallly khote sikke)….he told me guys…wat kind of cricket u r talkin abt…pravin kumar ishant sharma…u shud have watched roberts, holding, malcom marshal…u shud have seen blood on bouncing pitches..u hud hve seen gavaskarian class…gundappas brialliance…that is wat cricket is..T20 is like one night stand with hot dusky girlfriend…n test cricket is romance with fair slim lady in paris..n he winked at us n went off in his casinovian model of jaguar….n I do realised one thing….ppl dnt change der skin…it always der with u until u get wat u deserve…..( Please note…no way I m nt goin to tell ya dat m single…just that it’s a fiction….so just njoy..dnt take it seriously….n your criticism is welcomed…)…ciao

Why other side from Punk??

It was another maniac year. My list of undeliverable, in common mans language a RESOLUTION, got few more items which has raised to infinity. So this year ykp has decided ( people call it as a kodak rare moment ) to put cross on one item from list of undeliverable , a blog.

Birth of this blog is from my friend’s unexplored fertile brain. This brain has been safely placed in the skull of my friend, famously known as SAD ( sadashiv aatmaram deshpande ). People who know him think that he bears every other adjective, which will force newly wed couple to pray for “not to conceive child like him”. I agree that he is not as sharp as other child. Precisely speaking, only time he has shown his eagerness is “at the time of birth”. 7 months baby. Boy o boy, he is tough nut who survived on minimum hatching. But he was never been problem child, I believe world got problem with him because he always had a different view. And to enlighten world with SADology, I have got this whim of writing on behalf of SAD.

To begin with, let me take you through the life of SAD… He is exquisite punk. If social networking site got community of punks, he deserves to be leader of that community. On Sunday, the 21st Dec of year 1980, this unsung hero was born when time started celebrating new day i.e. 00.00 am. Logically on Saturday night . (SAD thinks that his early arrival was spoiled Saturday night of his family which is the cause behind his dad’s hatred for SAD. But this is SADology at its nerdy best.) Never mind. Occasion of his impetuous birth is blend of vodka & non worker’s philosophies. Day when we are doing what we want to do rather than working class heroes rather Zeroes. If suppose ved vyas is writing this blog then he would have said that it is a conducive environment to born people like SAD. Now you probably were wondering why the hell I am writing this crap. And what is the correlation of birth of Saturday night logic with some lazy jerk. N answer is : first principle of SAD is never think before you do anything. SAD is living his life on these kind of illogical principles. He has his own way of living in this word.I remember when he got first red mark on his report card.He flunked in one of the language paper.The reason was simple. He has chosen Ambrose V/S Steve Waugh over exams. That’s why I always got jealous of him. He has got nothing under his bag but, he has enjoyed what I used dream of.Before reading further editions of blog, let me intimate you all about achievement of SAD. He has everything other than opulencive syndromes (SAD calls every element which is symbol of opulence of an individual as opulencive syndromes).

Other day I found myself in the middle of brawl with my colleagues.The debatable issue was SAD. All of them were defending their claim with financial, academical & all other achievement which will pleased any contemporary Indian individual…& to their claims …. My answer on SAD’s achievement was “hmmmm…nothing”. He may be someone who never cleared his graduation or earn big monthly installment from employer. He may not be hero according to worlds mechanical rules. But he is hero of his own. My endeavor is not to spread SADology amongst all of us. I just wanted to show some of the funny rather intensive characters with whom I have interacted. I have kick started with informal way of blog writing. I know its hard to digest some absurd babble….illogical thoughts….But as SAD says who cares….I will try to disappoint you with unexpected and unaccepted content…